Chest Pains

I’ve had chest pains for over two years now. They are an on again, off again issue that never seems to go away. Most of them are short, lasting maybe ten to twenty seconds, and only hurting around a three out of ten. Some though can last as much as a full sixty seconds and be as agonizing as a seven or eight out of ten. At one point, about a year and a bit ago, I had a bout that was so strong that it brought me to my knees and had me welling up in tears.

Doctors did some checks and said it could be any number of things. One doctor was sure it was due to inflammation, and another was sure it was due to high blood pressure. No one every completely figured it out, and the problem persists. I live with it. It can be hard sometimes, but it is a constant reminder that my life could be cut short and where I always thought that some form of disability might push me to rise above, I actually find the thought that some sort of pain, worse than what I’ve experienced before could happen, shamefully, I find that it removes much of my will to exceed in life.

Sometimes though, I think my pain is my body reacting to all the poorly managed stress in my life, giving me the physical sensation of pain to remind me to unwind, relax and let things go. Now if only I was better at those things…

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