We’ve been basically shouting it from the rooftops, but I haven’t posted about it on here, but Annie is pregnant. It is still very early days, and we are seven weeks from that twelve-week “safety” point, but just like with Lily, we want to celebrate this baby from now until forever. With the support and love we received in Lily’s passing, how could we not share our news with everyone as soon as we found out?

Currently, we are nicknaming the baby B, or Bee, or Bea, all interchangeably. You can read about the reasonings on Annie’s blog post: Bee’s Story – The First Few Days.

This post is partly to share the news, partly to keep a record of what’s happening in my life, and partly to give my perspective on this whole process. I can honestly say that I’m super nervous and also very excited. I would like to say that I’m more excited than nervous, but I probably won’t feel that way until after we cross the twenty-five-week mark.

I’ve long wanted to be a parent, and I’ve suffered two losses in my life, so the potential of losing a third hurts me to my core. I am trying to stay positive and look forward to sharing much more about the new baby.

It brings up many of the same questions I had back when we were pregnant before. I wonder if I’ll make a good parent? I wonder what my life will be like? I wonder what my child will be like? I’ve spent hundreds of hours pouring over my genetic code thanks to the 23andme test that I took last year. I’ve spent hundreds of hours working on a family tree on MyHeritage. I’ve spent hundreds of hours editing photos and writing blog posts to record the life I’m living. How does this all link to parenting? I don’t know, but I think it is safe to say that I’m very focused on family and recording what happens in it.

As many of you may or may not know, I like to plot things out. I continually go down different potential future paths wondering what will happen. Annie and I have discussed as many possibilities as we can think of and how our lives will be changed for each of them. There are so many questions, so many unknowns. It makes me a little jittery but my wife is amazing. As I try to support the various needs she has for medication and food, she supports me in stopping my brain from spiralling out of control. As usual, our strengths and weaknesses complement each other well.

There are many people hoping and praying for a better outcome for Annie and I and I appreciate the love and support we are receiving. It is really amazing to continually receive so much with so little expected in return. I hope you’ll all continue to provide your love, support, and prayers for our little baby Bee.