My Plans for My Future

So, I am currently going through a bit of a crisis of faith in terms of where I’m living and what I’m doing with my life. I am trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing. I’ve been sitting on the idea of working towards finding my purpose in life for years now.

I have gotten a tattoo reminding me to focus on finding my purpose in life. I have taken it as my moniker on Twitter (@findpurpose) and I continue to feel like I need to make some time to do some self-exploration.

With my career at rocketgenius working with them on Gravity Forms, I have some flexibility in terms of where I’m working for. With access to the Internet thanks to the cellular network, and the potential of purchasing a laptop, I could easily go and work out of the company office in the U.S. and visit my co-workers for a month or two. I could go back out West in Canada, visit some friends, and maybe family (if my brother ends up out there) and sort of be taken back. I could visit my dad out East, and I am already planning on staying with my family in December and maybe even being in Kingston for January as well.

My plan is to detach myself from pretty much everything but my day job. I’ll work during the day and then on evenings and weekends, I can hopefully focus on self-exploration.

During Christmas, I can take some time to feel how I fit in with my family. I can continue to build a relationship with Annie and see where that heads. I can focus on my hobbies, and think about what I want from my future. I have so many potential avenues of creativity that I would like to explore, and I feel like getting myself outside of my comfort zone might help re-light that fire of passion in my life.

I have been very lucky in life so far, and almost all of my best memories are focused on my interactions with other people at conferences and events, and I think that finding ways to integrate that back into my life would help me feel more fulfilled in my life.

I think my job would be happy to see me do this as well, since I could promote the amazing Gravity Forms, and continue to use my creativity to expand their documentation, marketing and support.

Of course, I worry that I’ll never feel completely settled, but I feel like given the right experiences and the right situations, I can reclaim some of the energy, focus, and persistence that I had back when I first started as a web worker.

My time with Bloggy Network was the best time of my life, and I don’t want to spend the rest of it trying to reclaim that feeling. I want to move forward in my life while finding out what my purpose is, and feeling like I’m working towards it. If I am supposed to live my life for the next fifty years, I want to do it with a feeling like I’m doing what is right for me, surrounded by the right people, in the right place.

I feel like my entire generation, and potentially those generations before and after mine will have a hard time dealing with the exact same thing I am going through now.

5 responses to “My Plans for My Future”

  1. FYI…I have struggled all my life about my purpose. John Steinbach (author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull) wrote that our purpose in life is to learn and have fun.

    I really liked that! 🙂
    Love you!

  2. Does life *have* to have a purpose? I’m not being flippant – I’m serious. I don’t know what the purpose of my life is, other than try to be a good person.

    • I am not going to presume that all life has to have a purpose, but I need to take time and explore my own purpose, and what that means for me.

      I sometimes feel like the main character in the Office Space movie, and I can’t see myself living the rest of my life feeling that way.

      And it totally isn’t flippant to ask the question, and I would like to believe that in challenging myself more, I’ll come to some conclusion about that as well. Maybe my life’s purpose is as simple as trying to be a good person, but I feel that I need to try various things to figure that out.

      It is time for me to do my “20’s backpacking” before I hit my forties…lol.

  3. Well, babe, 8 months later, how do you feel it’s turning out? I know things didn’t quite turn out the way you were thinking when you wrote this post? But have you found your purpose without doing your 20s backpacking?

    • I feel happy where I am in life, but in some respects, I still feel a bit cheated out of some “youthful” experiences. I think, though, that my interactions with you, your family and friends has been a different and interesting way for me to explore who I am and what I want from life. In having them try to learn who I am, I’ve come to understand myself better, and I think my future is pretty bright. 🙂

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