In a post I published in January (Goals for 2013), I had a few goals that I wanted to accomplish this year, and I wanted to take a quick moment to reflect on my progress towards them.

I wanted to lose more weight so I could fit in a size 40 pants.
I haven’t really lost any weight, but I haven’t gained either. This means I’m still within striking distance of this goal, and I’ll be redoubling my effort towards getting their before summer hits.

I wanted to buy a new suit.
I am planning on getting married next year in a suit, so this might just happen, but probably not until the very end of the year, as we won’t get married until April/May/June of 2014.

I wanted to walk ten hours per month.
I think I’m meeting this goal. I’ve been walking around Georgetown, and with Annie at malls, and as the weather improves, I hope to do this even more. Annie has been trying to convince me to work with her on the Couch to 5k routine that is fairly popular, and I might attempt it.

I wanted to pay off my debts.
I’m not doing so well here. Moving to Georgetown zapped my money, and things are really rough in this respect right now. I am super debt laden and I don’t see any sign of that changing any time soon.

I wanted to build a new desktop computer.
Maybe in late 2014 or early 2015…

I wanted to write at least 100 blog posts.
I am already more than half way to that mark with around 56 posts so far this year, and so I don’t think it will be an issue. I might even get closer to two hundred posts this year which would be absolutely amazing to me.

I wanted to write a story over thirty pages.
I haven’t tackled this one yet… and to be honest, I don’t know that I will. It would be nice, but I am not going to push myself to do it because the spigot that is my creativity completely closes off if I try to push myself to do creative writing.

I wanted to read at least a dozen novels.
I have already read six so far this year that I can remember, so I should be able to make this goal without too much of an issue.

I wanted to help at least three people with their websites or blogs.
I have helped for more than that through my work, but I haven’t made the opportunity to accomplish this outside of work as of yet.

I wanted to improve my relationship with Annie.
I proposed marriage, so I think I can check that off.

With more than six months to go, I think I’m doing well so far.

One of the major things Annie and I did as things started getting really serious and she was only waiting for the proposal was to start figuring out who we would invite and what our wedding would be like.

Annie has a large family, and so just with her family, friends and co-workers, it would be more than fifty people attending. Add in my family and friends, and that number increases to around eighty without even breaking a sweat. When all is said and done, our wedding could be between 80 and 140 people without much effort.

With a simple calculation of around fifty dollars per person to have the wedding, we are looking at a budget of around five thousand dollars, not including Annie’s dress. That number could quickly increase to nearly ten thousand dollars and that has me super nervous. We have a year to organize our finances to make this happen, and I don’t really have the income to put aside that kind of savings.

So because of these limitations, we are trying to find ways to make things work within a realistic budget. We might have to reduce the number of people we can invite, keep things simple and low cost, and find a myriad of ways to get married without breaking the bank.

We have so many ideas on what we would like to have happen for our wedding, and most of them seem fairly low cost, but high effort. I guess that’s the trade-off. Either you pay someone, or you put in the legwork yourself. We are hoping that Annie’s sister will make our cake, and that our paper flowers idea works out well with dozens of people helping make them. We also hope to find a lower cost venue, and keep our food ideas simple and easy to manage. We are also hopeful that one of Annie’s closest friends will help us out with inexpensive invitations.

With a year to go, sometimes it seems like we have all the time in the world, and other times, it feels like it is right around the corner. Here’s hoping we can pull this together.

As for our wedding party, Annie and I are already starting to ask people that we want next to us. I’ve only asked two people so far, my two cousins, and they’ve both said “yes”.

Annie has been slowly discussing things with some of her sisters, and hopefully, having the wedding party sorted out will be one of those things we can cross off our list that will make us feel like we are heading in the right direction.

I am finding this whole thing a bit stressful, but mostly just because we don’t really have the financial resources to make things easy. Thank goodness I have an amazing partner in my relationship with Annie, because I know it will all work out in the end.

So this past weekend, Annie and I took a trip to Kingston to visit my family. It was an opportunity for them to see the engagement ring, give their congratulations, and just hang out.

It almost didn’t happen because Kyle was sick, and he is one of the people we look forward to seeing the most, and I think the feeling is mutual, so to come down, and not be able to visit with him, I figured that would be a bit mean.

Thankfully, it all worked out, and Kyle was feeling better by the time we arrived.

That evening, Annie, Kyle, Nancy and I went to see Oblivion at the new Empire Theatre in Kingston. I hadn’t previously been there, and it was quite nice. It had many of the modern amenities, though the main area wasn’t as clean as I had expected.

Oblivion was an okay movie, though a bit slow and predictable in parts. I recommend waiting for it to come out on DVD or streaming services.

The next day, we all went to the mall, and hung out there. I had a good time, and we met up with Carly and Mark during our outing. I even saw Karen and her boyfriend while at the Cataraqui mall, which was really neat.

Afterwards we went to Old Navy where Annie helped me pick out a hoodie and some new jeans. I was able to purchase jeans from Old Navy! They had some 42/32′s that fit me nicely, with a bit of room to spare. I am really hopeful that in the next two or three months I can move down to a 40/32 as I’ll then be able to buy pants at most places. My gut is rounder than I had hoped by this point, but slow and steady, I’ll trend downwards.

That evening we went out to a Japanese restaurant where the old Cora’s used to be near the mall, and we had a great time. Nine of us were there, and most people enjoyed the sushi while I picked at some beef and chicken to tide me over.

On Sunday, I woke up early to watch the latest episode of Hunter x Hunter with Kyle. He and I are following the series, ever since he introduced it to me a few months back.

Afterwards, Annie and I went to St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Kingston, and had an amazing time. It was the best time I’ve had in a church in my life. The priest was older, but full of positive energy. His message mirrored exactly what I feel all religions should be preaching, one of acceptance and love. And when I went up, I received a full blessing and even a “thanks for coming up” and a pat on the arm.

It made me feel really great to be recognized, and a bit of extra attention paid. St. Joseph’s will definitely be our Kingston church when we are in town, though I doubt it will ever feel as great again as it was that first time sitting in.

Once church was done, we met up with my Grandmother and mom at Wind Mobile where she picked out a Motorola Razr V smartphone for herself. I didn’t get much time to set it up for her or play with it, but I’m sure over my coming visits, I can help customize it more for her needs. She decided she needed one as a bring everywhere camera, emergency device, voice recorder, calendar, and more. I am hopeful that she gets into text messaging, uses it to track pills, and other reminders, and really finds a place for it in her daily life.

Then, after a nice lunch with the two of them, Annie and I returned to Georgetown, using my cell phone the entire way to watch the traffic and avoid the worst of it.

All in all, it was a really nice weekend, and I can say that despite just visiting, I miss everyone greatly… Now I just need to find time to visit my Ottawa friends…

One of the biggest threads that tie Annie and I together is our common interests. Previously, I didn’t think that was really an important part of a relationship. I assumed, incorrectly, that having my interests be my own was the better route as I could learn things from the other person and they could learn from me. Oddly enough, if you lack an interest in something, it can be much more difficult to expend the effort and focus to learn.

It didn’t help that I felt like there were very few women in the world that could be interested in the same things as me.

As most of you know, I met Annie at a geeky event: Fan Expo Toronto. We both went to the same science fiction speed dating session and got to talk for five minutes about why we were at Fan Expo, and who we were hoping to see while there.

And thanks to my post yesterday, you now all know about our shared interests in social sites like Pinterest where we can create boards of things that we find interesting, and more often than not, what we like overlaps.

Beyond those though, we had many more geeky interactions that helped us build our relationship.

One of the ones that made me super happy was our shared interest in science fiction and fantasy television shows. It made me more than a little giddy to sit next to my girlfriend, watch some Star Trek Voyager, and then hearing her say, “can we watch another episode?”

Beyond Star Trek Voyager, where we are nearing the end of Season 3, we have watched Merlin, Big Bang Theory and Doctor Who together. Sometimes, I had to wait a week or two to watch Big Bang Theory with Annie as when I moved local, we quickly decided that it was a show we should see together because we both enjoy it so much.

As for Doctor Who, Annie has had her niece come over to start watching it from the 2005 re-start, and we’ve been watching it together, the three of us, from the ninth doctor (my personal favourite). We usually get together to see two or three episodes every couple of weeks. It is a nice break, and apparently now, my place smells like Doctor Who according to Annie’s niece.

Then there is all the reading I’ve done since meeting Annie. Previously, I would read maybe two novels a year, three if I was really into reading. I always said that with all the reading I do for work, there wasn’t any time or energy left to follow a story more complicated than what they’d post in a magazine.

Since meeting Annie, I’ve read nineteen novels in less than nine months, or nearly two per month since I met her. We’ve even read a few books that the other person has recommended. I read Divergent and Insurgent and she read Wake, Wonder and Watch. I also read the whole Harry Potter series of novels. Currently, we are working our way through the Maze Runner series, and are more than half done the last novel The Death Cure.

Here and there during the first and second books of the Maze Runner series, we even had evenings where we read to each other. We would take turns every few chapters and swap out. Reading carefully, and enunciating well for the other person. It was a slow, but enjoyable experience and something I’m sure we will do again soon.

Then of course there is our upcoming wedding, and the geeky elements we want to add to that. Our cake is going to have elvish words written on it, our flowers will be made from books, and we might even have some floating lights/candles at our reception if we can pull it off.

Who knows what other geeky elements we will add, but I do know that our common interests have brought me a great deal of happiness and fulfilment.

I’m looking forward to continuing to share the things I’m passionate about with someone who can be passionate about them as well as there is no better feeling in the world.

So, with the big new release of Gravity Forms, I will be able to start doing something I’ve been looking forward to since I started working for rocketgenius: create tutorials and screencasts.

Well, that is… as soon as I’m healthy again. No one wants to hear me coughing into the microphone.

Gravity Forms version 1.7 is a huge change in terms of user interface layout and where controls are placed, and it adds some great new features.

The team has moved the confirmations and notifications and made them more extendable. The changes, while it does take even seasoned experts a bit to get used to, are really amazing in the new flexibility they offer.

I am hopeful that I’ll be posting a test video on this blog in the next week or two relating to getting started with Gravity Forms. Wish me luck!

Pinterest (check out my boards) has been a fun distraction since Annie first re-introduced me to it. I had heard about Pinterest back when it first came out, but quickly decided it was only for women. Since then, the idea of having organized inspiration and a reflection of who I am and what I like was appealing and fun to create has swayed me to sign up.

Early on, when Annie and I began discussing marriage, she invited me to a secret board she had created that was related to her eventual wedding. She invited Becky to it, who also commented on some items and added a few of her own, some of them being more humorous than serious suggestions.

Back when I was first added, it had a few items on it, maybe a dozen or so. Within a few weeks of inviting me, we were half way to fifty. By the time I asked her for her hand in marriage, we had well over one hundred and fifty items pinned to our secret board.

It included rings, invitations, wedding dresses, bridesmaid dresses, wedding budget ideas, food ideas, suits and more. About eighty percent of the things added to the board were by Annie, but I was able to comment on them, and added a few of my own items as time and interest allowed.

Having a place where we could both easily daydream about our future wedding really helped me feel more engaged and excited about the potential for our future together. And I was able to understand Annie’s style better, and also begin to see myself as a groom.

It was also the place where I received my inspiration for the engagement ring I had made for Annie, but that’s another story, for another post.

Now, as we go from it being a possibility to a real thing, we’ve opened up the board, removed some things that aren’t needed, and separated out things into other boards to better plan for our upcoming nuptials.

Hopefully, Pinterest will help us organize things, make decisions and keep us inspired.

I’ll always be glad that we did it, and it just reminds me of how geeky Annie is, and how well that part of her personality suits my own geeky side.

If you are on Pinterest, check out our Wedding board, and leave your comments.

Annie and I had a conversation early on about what it would take to get married, and one thing that was brought up was our slightly more old fashioned beliefs. She asked how I would feel asking her siblings and her mother for their blessing before being able to propose.

With five siblings and her mother, I had a longer journey than most. It also meant discussing my ex with each of them, and that was not something I was looking forward to. Being that they are all Christian or Catholic, I was worried how they’d feel about my past relationship. Continue reading →

So for the last two weeks, I’ve been under the weather. I am hopeful that this whole thing is going to get better soon, but it certainly is frustrating.

It started with chest congestion and coughing, and just as it started to go away, I had some busy days, and it came back with a vengeance.

Since it started, I haven’t slept more than about six hours, less if I don’t take medication at the right time.

Currently, the coughing is less though still very rough, but my sinuses are dripping endlessly and I still get worn out really quickly if I exert myself physically.

It has definitely put a damper on my life as I haven’t been able to do the things I would normally do, including keeping up with work as I would like.

I have been so tired lately that yesterday I confused Star Trek and Star Wars when talking to Annie and was confused about where wrist tattoo went while looking at my left wrist (it is on my right wrist).

My memory has been even worse than normal, so the only way I’ve been getting this posts about my relationship written up is thanks to the extensive notes I wrote over the last two months about things that were happening.

I can’t wait until this cold is over. People have been extra worried about me because I’ve had pneumonia so many times in my life, but there is no rattle when I breath, which is a huge sign for me that things have gone wrong. Also, my phlegm which was green and then yellow is now clear.

I am hopeful that in the next two days that I’ll be mostly back to normal, and I expect that sometime in the next week or two, I’ll be having a twelve hour deep sleep to try to recover from the deficit I am running on.

One of the many situations that made this relationship possible was Annie’s sister’s involvement early on in our relationship.

There was a period where I was super confused by Annie, and I didn’t know what to do about it. She was acting closed off, and that was very different from the open and engaging personality I had met in Toronto. I quickly started to wonder if Annie just wanted to be close friends, and that I was wrong in thinking she wanted more than that. There were people that told me that because of the distance, and her seemingly low interest in pursuing a serious relationship, that I should end it and continue focusing on my own life, and find someone closer to where I was currently living.

Thankfully, Annie gave me permission to discuss a few things with her sister. Seems a bit odd, I’m sure, but I really needed some insight into who Annie was, and what was going on, and I felt that the only person that both knew her well enough, and seemed interested in my happiness as well was Becky, her sister. My family had yet to meet Annie, and could only go by the little bit of information that I doled out. Some of my friends had met Annie, but none had any deep knowledge of who she was, or what she wanted from life.

So in mid-November, I hinted heavily to Becky that I found Annie hard to read, and after discussing my past with relationships, and waiting for her to make sure with Annie that she could discuss things with me, she let me know some things that I already knew, but presented it in a new light, thus allowing me to better understand and come to terms with our relationship and the patience I needed if I was to continue to pursue a deeper connection with Annie.

She also opened up to me about her relationship and the process it went through finding its footing, adding in helpful advice and tips when she could think of them. This whole process of communication helped Annie and I. Annie had a hard time discussing some of this stuff as she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, and me to turn into some kind of a jerk, or even just someone that was wrong for her.

I think the fact that we were so right for each other scared both of us a bit. I mean, you meet someone that just fits, and because of past relationships, you just wait for it to fall apart. You wait for them to slip up and show a side of themselves that you don’t agree with or want to be around. For Annie and I, that never happened.

Becky has always been the biggest cheerleader in our relationship, and her advice, counsel, and ear during my courtship of Annie has certainly made things easier. Even just acting as a sounding board, without saying anything in response, she never made me feel dumb, or that my feelings were wrong. She wanted the best for her sister, but also seemed concerned with my wellbeing. Without her, I don’t know if Annie and I would be engaged today as she was a bridge that helped us create this strong, loving, understanding relationship.

She continues to be excited for us as we go through every step of this process, and provides a constant welcoming presence to me as I get assimilated by Annie’s family. Annie and I owe Becky a great deal, and I’ll always appreciate her contributions to my relationship with Annie and my life.

So, a month or so back, Annie and I went engagement ring shopping. I didn’t think much of it, as we had looked at rings online a fair bit, and Annie seemed to have a good idea of what she wanted. She wanted something unique, in two tones of gold, with a round cut center stone and an overall organic/whimsical look. She also knew she didn’t want a solitaire.

In the first store we went to, she was completely overwhelmed. She couldn’t even look directly at the rings, and found them too shiny. She was completely unprepared for the emotions that set in as the whole experience became real to her. We left the first store with her not even picking any rings out to try.

The second store in the same mall, she did a little better. I took the reigns and had her sit down. The rings didn’t seem so reflective when sitting, and I selected a few rings for her to try. Her whole body was shaking wildly as she attempted to place the ring on her finger.

She laughed slightly, before asking if it was hot in the store and taking off her sweater. For any of you that don’t know, Annie is always cold. You could bathe her in boiling water, and her hands would still have icicles on them, so for her to need to take layers off, it was fairly amusing to me.

She was still squinting wildly as we left the second store, a bit blinded by all the bling.

Entering the third store, she was getting both a little more comfortable and a little more frustrated. Her idea of what she wanted wasn’t matching up to what actually felt right to her. I got her ring finger sized at this point, and found out that her ideal size was a 6.25, which isn’t a standard ring size, and nearly anything I bought would have to be resized to fit.

She realized fairly quickly that she wanted something low profile, and that if it had stones along the band, they had to be channel cut, because otherwise, they would drive her nuts.

Moving onwards, we went to one more store in the first mall before calling it quits. Most of the stores didn’t seem very accommodating to what Annie wanted. Some of the rings she really liked were only single tone, and when they had a matching band, she asked if they could do the band in the opposite colour of gold, only to be told that they could sell an extra band with the ring in the opposite colour, thus costing more, or they just said it couldn’t be done.

As we left the mall, I could tell her spirits were down. I asked her if there was anywhere else she wanted to go. After a short break, and a bit of a drive, we ended up at another mall, where we started the process again, but this time, Annie found a renewed sense of purpose in herself, and achieved the confidence she didn’t have at the start.

She was ordering around the staff and getting them to run around the store grabbing rings for her to try on. She was still frustrated with the majority of the “traditional” rings, and how unwilling to customize or change some of the companies were.

We were fortunate though because this second experience was much more positive for Annie, and before leaving, we looked at four more stores. I think we would have continued on through many more if it wasn’t time to head back home as we had taken up a whole day just looking at rings.

Over the course of the day, we went through two malls, and eight jewelry stores before pretty much concluding that none of the rings that Annie had chosen through seeing pictures online would work for her, and that most ring shops didn’t have anything she was in love with. My work was definitely cut out for me.